Oh my seriously behind

I am way behind on updates here lol.
Well, where do I start. No more morning sickness which si great. We did have the nuchal testng done and my DS risk came back at 1:89. We decided to go with CVS testing so October 1 saw me with a biggest needle I have ever seen being stuck into me. The placenta was very high up and to the back so it was a bit painful with the OB fishing around for enough placenta to get to test.
We had the FISH and then the full CVS done. All came back absolutely clear and normal and we are expecting Daniel James Edward.
Yep he is all boy which he has very proudly shown us at each scan lol.
My 19 wk scan showed however that the placenta had grown as it expected but had grown down towards the cervix. I had my monthly OB scan 2 wks later and the edge of the placenta was even closer to the cervix. DAMN!!
So I have a fibroid on the front wall and a very low placenta on the back wall.. great.

Daniel is however now a lot more active which is good. Samuel loves feeling him move and kick and is so looking forward to him being here. Each Drs visit he asks if we'll be coming back with Danel lol.
After all those yrs of miscarriages and finally believeing that 2 pink (or blue) lines does NOT mean you will have a baby, it is very rewarding to feel those kicks and squirms.

Still having trouble with our teenager Nic who has the Autism Disorder ( almost Aspbergers but not quite). He and a friend want to mvoe out but honestly they have no idea of maintaining a house and doing such ordinary things as washing dishes, getting clothes clean and hung out to dry and brought in an dput back in the wardrobe.. thigns like vacumning floors etc.. and consideration for neighbours??? Forget it! They are habitual noise makers til all hours and like thier music turned up LOUD!! Add to that Nic has drum set and likes to play it as loud as posible, to the extent he has pitted the skins on all the drums with the force of his hitting them with the drumsticks.

Moving on and our 17 yr old daughter Tash has moved out with her partner Bevan and their baby boy who was 13 weeks on Tuesday (3mths by date). I miss having another female to talk with and just that opportunity to chat about anything and nothing at any time. A ph call does not bring with it the same sponaneity :(

Our Christmas tree is up and all the decoratins around the room.
The room that used to be Tashs and was pink is now painted 2 shades of blue and in use by a family friend whose marriage has broken up.
We have our vegetable patch all planted out and have had rain just about every day since we dug it over.. the problem is the waether lol. It is summer but we have cool days with lots of rain. We need it to fill the tanks but it sure isn't helping the plants like tomatoes to grow and produce nice big red tomatoes. You need sunlight for that!

Samuel.. leaving him to last. Samuel and my dad do NOT get on. Samuel is a normal active 4 yr old but my dad has forgotten that 4 yr olds are not born with adult intelligence and they need to learn behaviour, rulse and boundaries as they grow. It is not smething they suddenly attain and just know to do as they are told the very minute they are told. They do make noise, they have a right to use thier voice an dplay and sing. As for chasing the cats?! Well cats have 4 paws with claws and they also have teeth so I am sure if the cats really wanted to protest they would.
But I must admit Samuel is darned disobedient and taking him shopping is a real nightmare. He has got very good at running off and with my ligaments all stuffed up I can't run after him. It gets quite scary especially as he does not come back when called. At least he does behave at school and his teacher is quite pleased with him. He only goes twice a week, 9 - 10:45am Tuesdays (with his dad) and Thursdays in the class by himself no parents.

Well that si my update for now.
Merry Christmas to all
Judy

copy and paste :)

From my blog over on The Den
http://theden.webbed.com.au/friends/viewtopic.php?f=173&t=3653&start=80

August 23: Morning
Can I ask a question.. why don't dopplers work before 10wks or so? Is it coz the heart is still too small or because usually the uterus is still below the pelvic bone until then and so harder to make a connection...
afternoon
We (Robert and I) just heard it.. so I even got Tash to listen.. the rate is between 162 - 171.. to my mind a girly heartbeat.. what a beautiful sound.
Makes the m/s all worth it to hear it
The doppler is well worth the investment.

August 27th OB visit.
First of all he is very nice, not my usual OB Jamie coz he is on leave but Peter was lovely.
Did a quck scan, bub is now looking like a baby and moving, heart rate of 178. He described it as a very strong, sound and healthy pregnancy. He was really pleased with the size, heart beat and the placenta and cord meausrements.. The fibroid is off away from the bub so no worries there. No bleeds or anything.

the drama
me
he was very concerned with my m/s, my colour, dehydration , dizzyness and wanted to put me in hospital.
I asked about othe drugs we could try so I am now on Zantac and B6 so Robert had to go and get the script filled then I had to take one of each and lay down until the midwife was sure they were staying down. They even called a on-call nurse down from Recovery to keep an eye on me.
So for now I am allowed home, I HAVE to rest, lay down as much as possible and if I am getting worse I have to call them at any hour and I'l be admitted for I.V. fluid and prednisolone.
I did feel better for about nearly 2 hrs after the 2 tablets but now am wearing down mighty fast.
The Zantac is twice a day and B6 only once a day.
So I am off to bed.
I go back on the 19th Sept if not before. See how we go.
I still think 99% girl.

August 29
Robert took the memory stick in yesterday and will pick it up next week I was hoping they coukd do it on the spot coz it takes less than a minute to copy over but... oh well..
I wasn't really taking too much attention the other day but I di dsee bub moving so I was hanging out to see it all in detail.
Heartbeat is getting easier to find with the doppler so I do a quick check each night. Just long enough to hear it is nice and strong.

I think the B6 works better than the zantac. I am on 100mg once a day of B6. If it works so well I was wodnering about dosage and if I could take another before tea or even a 50mg to ease me over the evening meal.
I'll have to do a google.

I am cutting back the vitex too. I was on 2 tabules of 660mg a morning. Then I cut down to 1 1/2 and this week I am on just one tabule.. shaped like a capsule but is a dry tablet.
Tomorrow I cut down to 1/2 a tabule then stay on that for a week or 10 days then stop altogether and just keep up with the 5mg folic acid.
I'll start again on the prenatal and the calcium 600mg with Vit D once the m/s stops.
The iron in the prenate makes the m/s worse.

And today August 30
I am 9 weeks today !!!!!!
Heartbeat last night was between 168-172 and very clear .
2 1/2 more weeks to get past the miletone of the m/c at 11w4d and be in a safer place mentally.

OMG :)

Well it looks like this time we have finally cracked it.The betas so far have been amazing, 18dpo = 1121 and 22dpo = 5809. Well over doubling time and average.
Add to that the tiredness and nausea, the very sore bbs (no hugs please it hurts) and just the "I feel pregnant"

I am stressed out though over DS15. he was lined up for work experience and he even chsoe the place he would do it. Claremont Thrifty link hardware store. We have got to know the owners quite well voer the last 10 yrs.
So he went twice but said all he was asked to do was move bags of concrete and dirt.. = sore back.
So he has now missed the last 3 weeks, 1st week - snowed in at home, 2nd week - sore back and this week he siad he doesn't feel well.
Add to that he is always 'sick' for school. He has gone maybe 5 days all up in the last 5 weeks.
I know he is marked off in the attendance records as having autism disorder but still.. he has high functioning autism, he is genius material but will he do the work??
First time he had commendables on his report, this term he is not even fulfilling the requirements for grade 9 never made grade 10. His last year of formal schooling before going to either college or TAFE.
He will not lsiten to anything we say.

Always a worrier

I am still worried that this little one may not make it either. I was hoping by now the tests would be convincingly darker each day.
I also have this mind game in my head.. if I ph the Dr to make an appt and the time I want is available then all is good.. so I ph'd this morning wanting an appt for early tomorrow (Tuesday) so I can the first beta done Tuesday morning and get the results that afternoon and the next one on Thursday with results that afternoon.
The GP I see does not work Monday or Friday.. so Tuesday was fully booked out and I can't get in until Thursday 9:30 so I'll hopefully get one beta done then and the next won't be til Monday and no results til Tuesday.
This sux.
I feel like I am against the odds already.
If it is anything like the last few times I got BFPs I'll end up cancelling coz the lines will be getting lighter.
Whatever happened to the days of doing one test and being sure all was ok and you'd be having a baby in 8 mths time.

I wish you could buy positiveness..

And optimism. I am serious need of both.
I can't help but comapre these latest positive tests with previous months and so far they are mimicing them.. so tomorrow should be crunch day.. if lighter then that's it, loss #9.. if they are darker then I am still in with a chance.
I have waves of nausea but not as bad as the last few days and the sore bbs are not quite so sore.. but just as I start to feel all negative the afternoon wave of fatigue hits. The 'I can't keep my eyes open" feeling...
Why can't this be easy and simple.
Do one HPT, see two lines, a week later see the Dr then the OB at 8 wks then onwards from there til holding a baby in our arms and taking her/him home.

March or April....

I got another BFP, which for those not in the know means a Big Fat Positive as in pregnancy test. The estimated due date is around April 4-8. My OB would say the 8th as he goes by LMP. by ovualtion it is about the 5th though which is Annabelles Angelversary.
Hopefully this one will make it, I don't want a 9th miscarriage in a row.
http://millsfamily.webbed.com.au/chart
chart and pics are on the link
I will be 45 when bub arrives.
Hopefully Naomi Annakaye Grace but just as happy to have David James Bruce.

kids leaving home

OK you know I have a son Nic who is 15. He'l be 16 in Ocotber. We had Jazmin here the pg girl who is 15 but she has now left but I gather is currently homeless again and drifting from friend to friend. Then we have John her brother who has lived with us for going on a year now.
Well the 3 of them want to rent a house together.
I feel that will be a very big mistake for many reasons.
None of them know how to keep a place clean, you should see their bedrooms and around their computers!!! urgh..
They have no idea about money management and how to pay bills. They all get a youth allowance of some sort, Nic will get his of $183 a fortnight once he turns 16 but that has to stay in my name til he gets to 18. I know centrelink have a weird way of structuring things.
legally you can leave home at 16... that's the law... but as far as centrelink is concerned you are responsible for children til they are at least 21. We had to sign forms at one stage to say it was no longer posssible for Greg to live at home so he could get the living away from home allowance.

Nic with his autism and being in his own world.. yeah I can really see him working it out living in a house with two other sloths. His idea of washing clothes is you throw them in a pile behind the bedroom door then they magically disappear for a day and come back clean and neatly folded on the chair in his bedroom. Dishes disappear from his room or computer after several days and end up clean in the cupboard.. he has NO idea!!! Not for want of trying to teach him!!!

Please tell me no-one will rent out a house to a 15, nearly 16 and 17 yr old.
If they do get a house then the world really has gone mad.

Getting older

My dad is annoying the absolute Cr@# out of me today. Robert took him into town the other day and accidentally sideswiped a roadworks sign and left small scratches on dad's car. They dond't even go thru to the metal, only just in the first layer of the protective shield over the paintwork. So now dad is going on about careless driving and it is a total bodyguard replacement etc etc... :brickwall: Honestly he would have got more damage from a supermarket trolley / car park accident and never would have known how it got there or who did it but because he was in the car when it happened it is a major deal. I reckon the inusrance company will laugh at him if he takes his car in to be quoted on. Also Robert swerved to miss running over a large dead kangaroo on the road, Dad's car is a bit low to the road, running over the 'roo would have damaged the underneath of the car but coz dad didn't see the roo he thinks Robert was just being a careless driver and not watching the road and had gone over the wrong side. That is why when I have to take dad out I take my car not his coz I do not want any repercussions of my driving in his car or anything happening to it.
So I gather he will now want us to take him and his car into AAMI for a quote, and then insist on it being fixed and then we have to pay the excess. He wanted Robert to pay out of our insurance but insurance is for a car not a driver .. my dad is getting older and losing the plot quite a bit but in HIS mind everything is crystal clear and exact. He claims to have 30 years of no fault driving.. hmm he forgets the rear ended he gave someone on a wet road ...... and a couple others...
Ever since I mentioned the carers allowance he has become quite obvious in his daily absence.. he used to drop in all the time and we did all his meals except one but now he is insisiting on cooking for himself and can't wait til July when he is allowed to drive again... he doesn't realise that if I get a job I can't take 3 months off work if he has another siezure, I can't take 3-6 weeks off if he injures his leg again, I can't monitor his health from afar and keep an eye on his confusion if he goes into a hypoglycaemic event... but I also don't like being put on the unemployment/jobsearch when Samuel starts school and then not really looking for work. You have to look for work on jobseekers. Parenting Payment ends the moment the youngest child starts full time school and you are automatically switched over.. no choice... .. what does he expect me to do?
It is not a slur against him and saying he can't look after himself but it the govenment recognising the elderly do need a more deeper level of care and providing the allowance for someone to do that rather than the govt putting people into homes and then having to support them in a home.
No wonder I don't sleep at night :(

Now to make this al seem worse to me I have been on the sick list since Monday night, it is now Friday lunchtime. I still don't feel well. My stomach is still uspet and this stress is not helping anything. My head feels like it is full of pins and needles or 'silent noise' .. the effect of dehydration I have been told. I had one box of clomid left and rather than have it sit in the drawer saying 'use me.. use me.... use me' I took it thi scycle. so no more to eat away at my conscience asking if I had tried everything.. and you know what? The illness and stress ahve pushed away any sign of ovualtion. So much for the clomid. Last time I took it days 2-6 I had clear signs of something happening from day 8 but now it is day 14 and nothing, zippo, annovulatory?
All I want is one last baby girl. Everyone else seems able to eventually get pg and even surprise pregnancies announce baby girls.. but me.. nope it just gets further and further away.
Where is the light in this tunnel, the rainbow got lost.

Dreams

you know what really sux... dreams
on the night of 8dpo I dreamt that I was visiting my OB who found out I was 17 wks pg. I thought he would be upset at me not having gone in at 6 wks like he said I had to from now on.. but no he totally understood my hesitation on going to see him given my history the last year. I asked him why I only felt slight nudges and no real solid movements and he explained how it was coz I had a complete anterior placenta so it was muffling all the movement sensations.
so that was dream #1
Then last night ( woke this morning to this dream) I dreamt I was in hospital and just waking up from surgery. I had had to have a C sec and we had a baby girl who weighed 7lb 2oz. He did say though that once she was delivered he found out it wasn't such a drama after all and maybe we could have gone with a natrual delivery. I was amazed at how little pain I was in and could even roll over with ease.
So I thought for sure the tests would be getting darker, not damn lighter!!!
urgh
dreams suck

let the wait begin

I am not sure how to post pics on here so I hope they come out ok. I guess to see the pics you'll have to copy the pic link and put it into a browser, if someone can help me for future reference that would be great

ok so here we go from 10dpo and no squinting needed. My dad asked so are you or aren't you so my answer was :For the moment I am but as for how long? Will it be 4 wks, 5wks, 6wks? I doubt very much a line means a baby"
but here we go
http://millsfamily.webbed.com.au/chart/images/may27chempg.jpg

I did have more pics here but I deleted them off my home page and this is the only picture left.
So no long term pregnancy here just another chem pg.
edited May 27

Computer hassles

I have only just had the HDD in my computer replaced. I am still in the process of finding out what DH has to transfer over from the old HDD to this one. But now to add to it the fan is dying and making a loud noise. Great so now that has to be replaced... and then trying to use the shift key on my keyboard and it doesn't work. I only got the keyboard for Christmas so it's not even old yet.

OK moving on.. we had our first ehavy frost last night. At 8pm it was down to -2C (28F) and at 8am this morning it was -3.5. the frost was so heavy that samuel thought it had snowed overnight lol. The not so funny aspect is it froze our water pipes. DH had to spend over an hour trying to thaw them enough to get water. He is going to turn the frost control on when he gets home lol. Right now at 2:30pm it is a balmy 8C (47F).

We are off to have the evening meal with Roberts parents. We have made a large dish of cauliflower cheese and for dessert have a large family sized cheesecake. It is malt/maltesers on the bottom and honeycomb/golden syrup on the top. We will be coming back with our nephew Harry who has just turned 3. He is 7 ths younger than Samuel and they have been missing playing together so he will be here for 2 nights. Hopefully they will be playing enough togetther that Samuel wil leave the cats and dogs alone and stop chasing them and trying to sit on them. Poor animals.

We have increased our number of hens from 6 to 12. A friend has left his rooster (Bob) and 5 chooks here until he gets his chook pen built. We now let them out free range during the day and they seem to know to stop at the gate and not ventrue out of our property. We have 3.5 acres. 1/3 is agisted to 2 horses but the chooks even go and eat the seed off the hay after the horses finish eating it. The chooks don't seem at all scared of the horses.

DD Tash is now 25 wks pregnant, 26 weeks on saturday. Alexander is moving a lot now and you can feel him kick against yuor hand lol. She has inhereited my wonky hip and sciatica though which is making life really fun for her at the moment. Bevan has just bought himself a new 4WD Nissan Navarra.. so they will be living with us for a few years yet. He has a 5 yr loan out to pay for it and most of his wage goes on the payments so they can't afford to move out. I had to go guarantor on his loan though...

well time to head off, Samuel is trying to sit on Tash who doesn't have as much room on her lap anymore lol.
Jude

Never my turn

Must be something in the water around here.. or just that anybody who uses a test from my stockpile of HPTs will get a clear positive.. everyone except me that is!! Jazmin, our latest boarder who has been with us 10 dyas is now 2 wks late so I gave her one of my tests and the positive line came up even before the control line. she is about 6 wks. She has just turned 15.
Yeah I am green eyed but in a way I am also past it... so everyone who does a test when they come here gets a positive.. and they have all stayed pg too... but I also know it won't be my turn ever again so why stress it.. I have had to close the door on that.
I had a box of 50 Pregnow HPTs but I have used about 20 and given a few away so only about 15 or so left.
edited from my original post..
yeah I wish I could get pg and have our one last baby and I am bitter that I can't but there is nothing I can do about it. If it ain't gonna happen then it ain't and that's all there is to it.

What a day. My nieces 21st birthday is the 22nd so we went to her BBQ aprty on the 19th. From lunchtime til 8pm. It ended with a few fireworks she had got.
My ex-SIL was there with her kids and grandkids and blow me down she actually decided it was time to break the fence and talk to me. I gave all her kids b'day presents last year even though she had decided no tto talk with us but I am not doing it this year. No presents.
At one stage one of the guests threw up in the toilet and hit the fllor, walls and back of the door. Even though she had cleaned the worst of it you could still smell it and see the remnants so I ended up washing it all down for my sister so she could enjoy the BBQ with her daughter.
My dad is set out to make life difficult. he just got out of hospital where he had been for nearly 3weeks with a badly infected almost gangrenous diabetic ulcer on his leg. He ahd originally been told he would be allwoed for 3 hrs to the BBQ so long as he sat the whole time with his leg resting up and NO standng around talking with a beer in hand.
Move forward to the night before and his Dr says he can go home the Saturday morning.. still rest etc...
So we get to my sisters house for the BBQ and he had already had 2 sweet drinks although he swears he only had one... memory loss is quite bad in his case... then procedded to stand around talking to people and when told he was supposed to be sitting he remarked that how long should he rest for! He was no longer on clexane for anti-clotting so therefore he had to move around!! Then when I went to go get his shopping at the supermarket he darned came with me and walked around the supermarket!!!!
No wonder the nurses at the hospital reckon he'll be readmitted within a week coz he just WILL NOT LISTEN!!!
I don't want to grow old like that. My grand-dad (dad's dad) had alzheimers too and dad is in the early stages...

Back from the Drs

Well I guess that was a waste of time.
I went in to see about the migraines (with vomiting) and all the headaches I get.
She said a couple of things.. stress and eye strain
Stress.. my dad being in hospital, a rambunctious 3 1/2 yr old, financial hasles, TTC failure, housework, codeine rebound, a 15 yr old soon to be 16 with Austism Spectrum Disorder and no hel after he turns 16 ...
so I am told to take only panadol, ibuprofen or asprin but nothing with codeine in. Stop charting for TTC and yes that also meant she is not writing out a pathology slip for my yearly hormone blood test for FSH, LH and E2. She did however appreciate the charting to know which showed al the ehadahces and pattern.. or lack thereof.
So really to sum it all up.. yet another reason to feel I am a complete failure and can't even handle life ..
I was then going to go into town as DH had samuel.. and I was going to get myself a new pair of jeans as I have none. My last pair was a size 10 and they don't go near me since I gained weight :( but my car was playing up so I went to service station and he fixed the squeaky fan belt and after all that I couldn't be bothered going out shopping .. even though I was alone and no hangerons.
Now to get this child dressed so we can head over to MIL for Thursday night tea and maybe leave Samuel with her while I disappear down to the shopping centre and late night shopping.

Ok now lets see how long it takes...

For me to lose this blog or be unable to sign in.
Then again I do have a new password book so hopefully blogspot will co-operate and let me use my details instead of saying I don't exist.
I will add to this when time permits.
With a very active (read: naughty) 3 1/2 yr old and day caring a 9 mth old at the fast crawling trying to stand stage... teenagers in the house ( read: lazybones so mum is slave) well doesn't leave me much time for me.

so hopefully...
I will be back