Always a worrier

I am still worried that this little one may not make it either. I was hoping by now the tests would be convincingly darker each day.
I also have this mind game in my head.. if I ph the Dr to make an appt and the time I want is available then all is good.. so I ph'd this morning wanting an appt for early tomorrow (Tuesday) so I can the first beta done Tuesday morning and get the results that afternoon and the next one on Thursday with results that afternoon.
The GP I see does not work Monday or Friday.. so Tuesday was fully booked out and I can't get in until Thursday 9:30 so I'll hopefully get one beta done then and the next won't be til Monday and no results til Tuesday.
This sux.
I feel like I am against the odds already.
If it is anything like the last few times I got BFPs I'll end up cancelling coz the lines will be getting lighter.
Whatever happened to the days of doing one test and being sure all was ok and you'd be having a baby in 8 mths time.

I wish you could buy positiveness..

And optimism. I am serious need of both.
I can't help but comapre these latest positive tests with previous months and so far they are mimicing them.. so tomorrow should be crunch day.. if lighter then that's it, loss #9.. if they are darker then I am still in with a chance.
I have waves of nausea but not as bad as the last few days and the sore bbs are not quite so sore.. but just as I start to feel all negative the afternoon wave of fatigue hits. The 'I can't keep my eyes open" feeling...
Why can't this be easy and simple.
Do one HPT, see two lines, a week later see the Dr then the OB at 8 wks then onwards from there til holding a baby in our arms and taking her/him home.

March or April....

I got another BFP, which for those not in the know means a Big Fat Positive as in pregnancy test. The estimated due date is around April 4-8. My OB would say the 8th as he goes by LMP. by ovualtion it is about the 5th though which is Annabelles Angelversary.
Hopefully this one will make it, I don't want a 9th miscarriage in a row.
http://millsfamily.webbed.com.au/chart
chart and pics are on the link
I will be 45 when bub arrives.
Hopefully Naomi Annakaye Grace but just as happy to have David James Bruce.

kids leaving home

OK you know I have a son Nic who is 15. He'l be 16 in Ocotber. We had Jazmin here the pg girl who is 15 but she has now left but I gather is currently homeless again and drifting from friend to friend. Then we have John her brother who has lived with us for going on a year now.
Well the 3 of them want to rent a house together.
I feel that will be a very big mistake for many reasons.
None of them know how to keep a place clean, you should see their bedrooms and around their computers!!! urgh..
They have no idea about money management and how to pay bills. They all get a youth allowance of some sort, Nic will get his of $183 a fortnight once he turns 16 but that has to stay in my name til he gets to 18. I know centrelink have a weird way of structuring things.
legally you can leave home at 16... that's the law... but as far as centrelink is concerned you are responsible for children til they are at least 21. We had to sign forms at one stage to say it was no longer posssible for Greg to live at home so he could get the living away from home allowance.

Nic with his autism and being in his own world.. yeah I can really see him working it out living in a house with two other sloths. His idea of washing clothes is you throw them in a pile behind the bedroom door then they magically disappear for a day and come back clean and neatly folded on the chair in his bedroom. Dishes disappear from his room or computer after several days and end up clean in the cupboard.. he has NO idea!!! Not for want of trying to teach him!!!

Please tell me no-one will rent out a house to a 15, nearly 16 and 17 yr old.
If they do get a house then the world really has gone mad.